Some days, I am Wonder Mom. I float in off my perfect mommy cloud and sprinkle fairy dust and Twinkies all over my kids. But most days, I am exhausted and just want to get my kids out of my hair long enough to take a crap by myself. Here are some great examples of how I react to certain situations, based on what kind of mom I am that day.
Getting Ready for School
Let's pick out your outfit for school. What do you want to wear today? What fun things do you think you will do with your friends at school? Oh, that sounds so fun! Isn't school awesome!?!
Sit still while I put this on. I don't care that you want to wear that instead. Now get your ass in the car. We're late.
Arts and Crafts
Let's get out the paint and go crazy. Maybe we can make something for you to send to grandma. Sure! We can use glitter! Why not?
Here are some crayons. Don't let your brother eat them.
Let's put on your Max costume and watch Were the Wild Things Are while we snuggle on the couch together.
Here, I turned on Yo Gabba Gabba. Now please don't ask me for anything for at least 20 minutes.
Do you want to help me make dinner? Let's make pasta. Can you help me fill the pot up with water? Ok, now pour the sauce into the pan. Let's cut up some veggies for a salad. You are such a good helper.
I got you a Happy Meal. Eat it.
Telling My Daughter Her Dreams Before Bed
You will be a princess in an enchanted castle filled with unicorns that are made of cupcakes. All of your friends will be there and you will dance and play and have so much fun.
You will eat lots of cookies and have so much fun. Now go to sleep.
What about you? What are your Wonder/Blunder Mom moments?