Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Postpartum Porn

So if you live under some sort of pregnancy rock and have not heard of the hilariousness that is Pregnant Chicken, you must check it out. She just featured the most awesomeness of posts: Porn for Pregnant Ladies.

This post got me thinking of what would turn me on while I am stuck in the hell that is postpartum phase. Such as ADD Daddy saying:


  • Let me take the baby tonight. You just relax and get some sleep. You deserve it.
  • I love your hysterical crying. It just reminds me of how much of a woman you really are.
  • Six weeks isn't that long. Besides, I already dream of making love to you every night.
  • Let's order Thai food and obsess over the color and consistency of the baby's bowel movements.
  • Those aren't stretch marks. Those are battle scars because you are a warrior. A sexy warrior.
  • Let me get you another ice pack. I know your hemorrhoids must be killing you and I hate to see you in pain.
  • Tonight I just want you to rub your feet while you lay on the couch, hold the baby while it sleeps and watch reruns of True Blood.
  • I didn't think it was possible, but you are actually sexier than you were before you got pregnant.
  • That's not baby weight. It's just more of you to love.


13 comments:

  1. The Ryan Reynolds one is the best. And I think if Brad Pitt said that to me, I would probably swoon over dead.

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  2. I came to your blog through "People I want to Punch in the Throat" and this post is hilarious!! I am so glad I came by for a visit! Love it!

    Jennifer
    www.pletcher5journey.blogspot.com

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  3. I think that would work as porn for a mother of children of any age. Or just any woman for that matter.

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  4. This is fantastic! I love your blogs name too. Stopping by from PIWTPITT. :)

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  5. I love, love, love this and shared it with all my moms friends. Who are consequently sharing it as well!!

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  6. OMG Thank you to PIWTPITT for sending me to you. Love it!!!! Love the True Blood one the most :)

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  7. Lol ok, my hubby has actually told me I'm sexier now than before pregnancy. As if waiting 6 weeks wasn't excruciating enough.

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  8. My baby is turning 10 on Sunday but these guys still do it for me. You picked every hot guy of my dreams. Beer and Babies, is there anything else?

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  9. Excellent! Clive is my fave.

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  10. Thank you for the laugh. Awesome Post.

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I love hearing from you. It reinforces that writing this blog is not just a silly waste of my brain matter. If you leave a douche canoe comment, I will delete it. I am powerful like that.

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