Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The Confessional

Before I had kids, I had really bad IBS. Needless to say, I have pooped my pants before. Twice. I have two friends that I text the following update to each time it happens again, "Times I've pooped my pants to date: X."
 
Sins from fellow boozehounds:
 
Hannah says: I can eat a dozen krispy kreme donuts without getting sick or gaining weight. And with the amazing sweet tooth I've developed while pregnant--I could probably eat more than just 12. ILBAB says: Girl, get your donut on. Ain't no shame in that!

Jennifer says: I used to do this thing where, if a friend told someone else what I had said in confidence, I would deny that I said it and look at the gossiper like they were crazy. I've had people do it to me with things NOT told in confidence and it drives me absolutely batty. ILBAB says: Remind me not to tell you any secrets. Oh. Wait. I already tell all of them here. Never mind

Nesser says: I use baby lotion when I'm too lazy to give the widgets a bath. They smell clean- that counts, right? ILBAB says: If it smells clean, it is clean. End of story.

The Confessional is now open. Have something you need to repent for? Feel free to send me your sin and I will help your purge your demons.

2 comments:

  1. haha! If it smells clean it is clean! I like that - also works for my home; light some candles, spray a half bottle of air freshener & BAM! Clean house. End of story.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The other night, when the family sat down to have family movie night, the boy child, 6, took his shoes off. The Husband immediately started yelling "What is that awful smell?" The boy child took great delight in sticking his awful, stinky, skunk feet in Daddy's face. Daddy took his straight to the bathroom, sat him on the counter, and cleaned his feet with Clorox wipes. Worked so much better than soap. I'm just ashamed that I didn't think of it.

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing from you. It reinforces that writing this blog is not just a silly waste of my brain matter. If you leave a douche canoe comment, I will delete it. I am powerful like that.

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