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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Postpartum My Eggo Update: Week 4

Things that have happened in the last week:

  1. I spilled a $2.99 glass of Charles Shaw Chardonnay on our $1,500 laptop, basically rendering a very large paperweight. Hence, the lateness of this post. Craptastic.
  2. The Cool Cucumber slept all the way through his first feeding one night only for me to wake up for his second feeding to the first snowfall of the year. Magical.
  3. We have decided that every time one of our kids gets on our nerves so bad that we want to scream at them that we are going to give them up for adoption that we will just yell, "Twinkies!" at the top of our lungs. It is a very effective stress reliever.
  4. The Cucumber and I started baby yoga this week. When I whipped out a formula bottle to feed him and then proceeded to change his non-cloth diaper, some of the harpies in the class audibly gasped. Screw you, hippies. Mama has her hands full and the last thing I need is to carry around is a shitty diaper all day to make you feel better. I recycle, so there.
Postpartum tip of the week: If you keep track of baby's eating, sleeping and pooping, download the free Similac Baby Journal app in iTunes. I did and it is a life saver. With The Quiet Contemplator, we kept track of everything on paper in tiny stupid slots, this app allows us to keep track of The Cool Cucumber's activities in an organized manner that helps us track what he has done for the last day/week/month, email it to our Dr if needed, project what he will be doing in the next coming days, etc. It rocks. It is great for breast feeders, too. It even let's you record which boob you are feeding from. The pee/poop recording part cracks me. There are three dirty diapers you choose from. One with a blue line in the front, one with a blue line and brown spot and one with just a brown spot. If that isn't funny enough, once you select the correct diaper, you enter a screen with a slide down of like 15 colors of poop and another slide down with like 15 consistencies. Being this detailed or recording it at all might seem stupid to some of you, but it came in hella handy when The Cucumber got constipated and we needed to track when the last time he actually went was and report all of the details to our pediatrician. Anyhoodle. If you are interested, you can download it for free here. Enjoy!


  1. Yay I love apps! I'll go download it right now!

    I pump & supplement (when needed) with formula and fuck cloth diapers... why would I want to do MORE laundry?? I love my Diaper Genie. Babies are too much of a poop machine to do cloth diapering. My husband got hit with projectile poo when he was cleaning the Dragon... classic! I laughed so hard.

  2. Tks for the app recommendation. Will be great for next baby, which is far in the future ;). Also, haha about the gasp at yoga class. I'm surprised they weren't gasping at the bottle too! Haha.

  3. That technology sounds so boss! It ALMOST makes me want to have a small person. Almost. I wish they had that for adults - maybe I can use the baby one to track my own poops? Also, you're welcome for the drive-by overshare.

  4. Audibly gasped? Jesus H.

    LOVE that app. I tried to keep track of feedings/poopings when TIH was little and I think I lost my mind a little trying to do it. That app will come in handy in the future!

  5. OMG, do parents really track how much/when their babies eat/pee/poop? I'm pretty sure I'd had my fill of that during our five weeks in the NICU. We never tracked anything once Gavin came home! Though, an online resource? Always helpful, for sure!

    Also, I like your choice of words - sweet goodness with a shelf life longer than the average human lifespan! =)

  6. However you feed your baby is up to you. As for cloth diapers isn't that kind of like reusing toilet paper? We are disposable all the way!

  7. Craptastic is one of my all-time favorite words. I'm also very fond of and prone to using craptacular and asstastic. You just gained a new follower because of your use of such awesome language. :)

    I'm so going to try the "twinkies!" thing today if I get riled up enough to want to scream at my kids. Which should be about 30 seconds after my oldest comes in the door from school. Ah, kids.

    Also, tell the granola moms I said they can kiss MY butt. Some moms CAN'T breastfeed. What if your baby was adopted? I hate presumptive asshats.

    Keep it up, girl. I'll be back. :)

  8. I yell "frogs" instead of the other f-word, and "son of a goat" instead of the obvious. Can't believe the boy hasn't picked that up yet.


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