I recently got a Pregnancy Bulletin email from BabyCenter titled, "10 signs you shouldn't have sex during pregnancy". I figured these were the 10 signs:
- You're pregnant, which is the result of sex, and you don't want to get any more pregnant.
- Your idea of hitting the sheets involves 14 body pillows, a sleep mask, a fan and ear plugs.
- You have gas so bad that you make the entire country of Mexico cringe.
- You can no longer see the hedges in order to trim them, and who wants to venture into uncharted territory, anyway?
- The mere sight of the bastard that got you into this whole mess makes you want to punch a kitten.
- Your idea of foreplay is ordering cheese sticks before the pizza comes.
- The Dr. told you not to lay on your back after the first trimester, and there is no way this cowgirl is saddling up.
- One tiny penis inside of you is enough, who needs another?
- Your idea of putting on "something sexy" is listening to Barry White while eating an Oreo Blizzard on the couch in your PJs.
- You're awake.
If you share this post, I will buy you a pony. I suck at Twitter. I am OK at Facebook. Pinterest is my bitch. I am also on Bloglovin' and Instagram.
OMIGOD! Hysterical. Thanks for the Monday funny.
ReplyDeleteMy personal favorite is #5. I'm sharing this with friends! Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lemon Drops. I was getting sad no one had commented on the kitten punching yet.
ReplyDeleteLOVE this. I think I will print these out and stick it on the pamplet shelf at my OBGYN's. You ROCK, sister.
ReplyDeleteHILARIOUS! Loved it! :)
ReplyDeleteBravo. Great post.
ReplyDeleteLmao. I read this to my husband and the looks he gave me were almost as hilarious as this! =)) Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDelete(By the way, the pillow thing is SO me right now... 30 weeks Friday, and holy crap. lol.)
Brilliant. Blizzards, ah yes. I consumed approximately 800 during my pregnancy. Love that picture!
ReplyDeleteThey are a gift from god. Especially the Oreo ones.
DeleteThis is awesome and exactly what I would expect from Baby Center ;) I am sharing this on twitter via #findingthefunny--so glad you linked this one up!
ReplyDeleteMeredith
www.themomoftheyear.net
Thanks so much!
DeleteMmmnh Oreo blizzard sounds delish. Next time Hubby tries to get frisky i am just going to give him this list. Love
ReplyDeleteHa!
DeleteHilarious!! Thanks for that!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
Deletebahahahah!!
ReplyDeleteThat is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteSo funny. Loved #6. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Penny.
DeleteI'm gonna have to say #5 is my favourite but they all work....The cowgirl one also made me choke on my coffee a little.
ReplyDeleteThanks for hooking up at the Hump Day Hook Up
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