10 Signs You Shouldn't Have Sex During Pregnancy

I recently got a Pregnancy Bulletin email from BabyCenter titled, "10 signs you shouldn't have sex during pregnancy‏". I figured these were the 10 signs:

1. You're pregnant, which is the result of sex, and you don't want to get any more pregnant.
2. Your idea of hitting the sheets involves 14 body pillows, a sleep mask, a fan and ear plugs.
3. You have gas so bad that you make the entire country of Mexico cringe.
4. You can no longer see the hedges in order to trim them, and who wants to venture into uncharted territory, anyway?
5. The mere sight of the bastard that got you into this whole mess makes you want to punch a kitten.
6. Your idea of foreplay is ordering cheese sticks before the pizza comes.
7. The Dr. told you not to lay on your back after the first trimester, and there is no way this cowgirl is saddling up.
8. One tiny penis inside of you is enough, who needs another?
9. Your idea of putting on "something sexy" is listening to Barry White while eating an Oreo Blizzard on the couch in your PJs.
10. You're awake.