I recently got a Pregnancy Bulletin email from BabyCenter titled, "10 signs you shouldn't have sex during pregnancy". I figured these were the 10 signs:
- You're pregnant, which is the result of sex, and you don't want to get any more pregnant.
- Your idea of hitting the sheets involves 14 body pillows, a sleep mask, a fan and ear plugs.
- You have gas so bad that you make the entire country of Mexico cringe.
- You can no longer see the hedges in order to trim them, and who wants to venture into uncharted territory, anyway?
- The mere sight of the bastard that got you into this whole mess makes you want to punch a kitten.
- Your idea of foreplay is ordering cheese sticks before the pizza comes.
- The Dr. told you not to lay on your back after the first trimester, and there is no way this cowgirl is saddling up.
- One tiny penis inside of you is enough, who needs another?
- Your idea of putting on "something sexy" is listening to Barry White while eating an Oreo Blizzard on the couch in your PJs.
- You're awake.
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