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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

You Sure Can

As parents, I find we are often worried about our kids inheriting our worst traits. Will they get my wicked temper? Will they pick up my bad habit of cursing? Will they grow up to have ape-like fingertoes? We spends countless hours worrying about things that we can't change, because it is already ingrained in their DNA to be one way or another. The problem is, we don't spend enough time looking at all of the wonderful aspects of ourselves that our children get. Their father's kindness and patience, my verboseness and free spirit, etc.

The other day, I was changing The Cool Cucumber's diaper when I asked The Quiet Contemplator if she could go get something for me in the other room. She cheerfully responded, "I sure can!" It made me stop. What a sweet reply and what an odd way of saying yes. I was proud of her, but more so, I wondered where she had picked this expression up at.

The next day, The Contemplator asked me if she could have a cookie and since she had been a good girl all day, I replied, "You sure can!" And I stopped. It was me that she picked it up from. I was the person that she had mirrored herself after that had made her respond in that way. My heart swelled. One, because she is such a sweet freaking kid that it is fucking disgusting, and two, because I had something directly to do with that. Score one for Mommy!

As parents, we don't often take the time to pat ourselves on the back for our successes, we are too busy beating ourselves up for our perceived failures. We only credit ourselves with the bad habits our kids pick up, not with all of the wonderful things that they learn just by being with us.

So, today, Mommies and Daddies, take a moment to remind yourself of what a good job you are doing. Even if the house is a mess. Or you burned breakfast. Or you snapped at your toddler to get their ass in the car because you are already late. Today, try to focus on the good you are doing.

Because I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.

Being a parent is hard. Being hard on yourself is easy. Let go. Just for a minute. Or an hour. Or a day. How long can you make it without beating yourself up? How much good can you see in yourself today? Here's hoping you see a lot.

18 comments:

  1. Yay, Stuart! Just the other day, I busted my husband for "stinkin' thinkin'."

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  2. This post is awesome on so many levels (Stuart is totally the hot fudge on the top of this sundae of awesome). It is SOOOO easy to mentally beat ourselves up for our daily transgressions while we ignore the greatness that we teach our children.

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  3. Whenever I tell my daughter please go do something, or thank you for cleaning up etc. she says "good manners, mommy!" because thats what I tell her for saying please and thank you.

    Now on the other hand when Im driving in the car and I have to slam on my breaks she exclaims "jesus christ!" because I often say that while driving...

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    1. that is awesome. My daughter would just say, "damn it!"

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    2. So, I'm not the only mom who's child says "damn it". Whew! HUGE sigh of relief!

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  4. I agree! My winning parenting verses are "ma'am" and "sir" both in a sarcastic manner and genuinely. Manners, too. I don't think I ever really taught them "please" and "thank you."

    Mostly I'm just REALLY polite. :D

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  5. Holy shit, were you in my head? I was just realizing (and berating myself) that I'm probably just projecting my issues on my kid and just need to stand back and trust her (because she's way cooler than I ever could hope to be). And I realized that I'm in pretty decent shape, personality-wise, considering all the crap I dealt with that I'm so busy trying to help her avoid but will never be able to protect her from. Alright, this is starting to sound like a therapy session...but seriously, you're so right.

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  6. Holy crap, I think I love you even more now. If that is even possible...

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  7. LOL! I haven't seen him in ages. Memories. FROMTHECORNERSOFMYMIND.

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  8. Alright mama! I've been following you for a while and have amassed (sp?) a collection of questions for you that keep rolling over and over in my head after reading a post for the day. Would you ever consider having a "20 questions" page or something similar to the confessional where we could ask these oh-so-important questions? I have a feeling that you're readers will shit a Twinkie if given the chance to "chat" with you about specific, obnoxious personal questions. What do you think? If not, can I just ask you a bunch of invasive and dirty questions? xoxoxoxo

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    Replies
    1. That is a great idea! I will put out a post and Facebook request asking for them soon!

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