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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Crayon Cock Blocker

Little known fact: The Quiet Contemplator is a crayon cock blocker. What's that, you say? What is a crayon cock blocker? Let me break it down for you.

Whenever The Contemplator and I color together, it always begins well. She starts coloring in her book and I color in mine. This goes on nicely for about one minute. Then, she decides the only colors that will do are the ones I am currently using--though there is a box of 4,978,651 other crayons in front of us.

She nicely asks, "Mommy, when you are done, it can be my turn?" "Sure," I reply. Then,  I use the crayon a bit more before I hand it over to her just so she doesn't become an entitled brat by always getting instant gratification (plus I am still coloring the doggy's ears).

Funny Baby Ecard: Yes, Honey. You have to share. But Mommy doesn't. So give me my crayon back.

We repeat this step about 500 times. She uses the new crayon for about 15 seconds before she decides that the color that I have just started using is now the "perfect" crayon. Between each handing over of the crayon, The Quiet Contemplator breathes down my neck and stares me down while waiting her turn. It is a bit uncomfortable. She is a formidable presence at all of 3-feet tall.

After about five minutes, she decides that merely stealing all of my crayons is not enough. She then decides to take over my entire coloring book. This starts out innocently enough. She says, "Mommy, can I color with you?" Again, I reply, "Sure." She then picks a place on my page and starts coloring it. How sweet, right? Not. Then, slowly but surely, she starts coloring on top of what I am coloring, thereby knocking my crayon to the wayside. Once I have finally given up and put my crayon down, she says, "It's OK, Mommy. You all done."

Um..OK. Was I just bullied by a 2-year-old? I want my crayons back!

18 comments:

  1. That's basically how coloring goes in our house. She even comes and stands in front of me so I can't see what I'm doing...I guess us mommies don't get a turn??

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  2. OMG, dying. This is so true in my house too. Do you ever find yourself getting a little irritated too when they bump you and make you color outside of the lines? No? Um, yeah, me neither. ; )

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  3. I'm your newest follower and i'm so glad i came across your blog!!! You crack me up and i love it.
    I'm Holli- nice to meet you.
    www.hollishootsandhollers.blogspot.com

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  4. Toddlers can be so sneaky. I don't know how they all pick up the skill so perfectly, so young. Mommies just want to color too!

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  5. Sass will beg me to draw a picture for him to color... and then he will tell me it is all wrong....

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  6. What is it with all these entitled brats?!! My house has one, too!

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  7. Sneaky! She'll be ruling the world by the time she's 10.

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  8. Every time! I never get to finish my damn puppy.

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  9. Toddlers can be the planet's craftiest negotiators! If we could legally put them to work, they could make us rich. Just saying... :)

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