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Monday, October 15, 2012

5 steps to a cleaner home


I received an email from BabyCenter today. It was titled 5 Baby Steps to a Cleaner Home. OF COURSE I didn't bother to read it. I just figured I would rip the band-aid off and give you my take on it.

5 Big Girl Steps to a Cleaner Home.
  1. Remove children from house.
  2. Remove husband from house.
  3. Clean house.
  4. Change locks.
  5. Sit back and enjoy your clean house with a glass of wine.
Funny Family Ecard: I have discovered the secret to a clean house: never let your children or husband enter it.
    The end.

    12 comments:

    1. Replies
      1. We can send both of our out on a free cookie and beer mission then lock up the house!

        Delete
    2. Replies
      1. Then your house must be littered with empty wine bottles and frivolous things, like matching bras and underwear. Lucky!

        Delete
    3. YESSS!! I would add a step that involves removing all pets too. Even the fish. The fish is messy in it's own contained environment, but I still have to look at that mess, which is not helping my perpetual eye twitch. Or my constant, nagging, internal guilt about not ever cleaning the fish tank.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. Girl you need to get yourself a snail. They eat algae. We have one named Alyssa and she rocks that shit. Ha ha.

        Delete
    4. 4b. Turn off cell phone.
      I don't need my wine drinking/house admiring time to be interupted by texts from the father about how he changed a poopy diaper (for once). Congratulations guy, now let me drink my wine in peace.

      ReplyDelete
    5. I wonder if I could kick everyone out FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND? *sigh*

      ReplyDelete

    I love hearing from you. It reinforces that writing this blog is not just a silly waste of my brain matter. If you leave a douche canoe comment, I will delete it. I am powerful like that.

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