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Monday, October 8, 2012

Advice Under the Influence


So I'm preparing for my son's first birthday party. He was born last year on Black Friday so I have the misfortune of having to plan his party during/around Thanksgiving. Anyway, I'm the kind of person who is SUPER creative and I LOVE to do crafts. But I don't want to drive myself nuts doing all kinds of stuff from scratch by myself. On the other hand, I also don't want to break the bank with buying all the cutesy decorations, favors and stuff. So where do I draw the line? What is worth doing myself and what is best to just buy and save myself the grief? (Theme is turtles btw). Thanks.

Best regards,


Dearest Monica,

I feel your pain, sister. The Quiet Contemplator's birthday falls Thanksgiving week and The Cool Cucumber's Christmas week. Holidays are a bitch at our house.

For The Contemplator's first birthday, I went crazy with the theme. I matched the invites, cake, tablecloths, birthday signs, napkins, etc. The big day came, people ate my food, trashed my house and she just sat there crapping her pants and playing with cat toys. My point? Don't stress yourself out on the first go-round. Parties aren't that big of a deal for kids until AT LEAST three. Then, all they want to do is go to horrible places like Monkey Joe's and act like heathens while stuffing their face with processed sugar.

The Quiet Contemplator's 1st birthday party was a pirate princess theme, not to be confused with a pirate hooker.

Overall, it is all about perspective. Remember why you are doing this: to celebrate the birthday of your son, not to impress people with your Pinterest skills. Keep things easy and light for the first time. It will make it a heck of a lot less stressful on you, and, in turn, make your son enjoy it a lot more. Don't blow the budget on favors for a first birthday. Or even budget for them, really. What does a 1-y-o want for a favor beside food and a diaper change?

If you still feel the need to get crafty, I would recommend the invite and the party banners. Overall, just go with the things that give you the most visual bang for your buck. And, if you are still feeling frisky, you are welcome to create some circus-themed crap from my kids' joint 1st and 3rd birthday party in December. :). 

Anywho. Hope this helps.

The Beer Bitch

Advice Under the Influence
Not sure of whether to go with Playtex or Dr. Brown's? Looking for a way to keep your toddler from shaving your cat again? Want to know what to do when your husband pees on the toilet seat again? Well, the Dr. is in. Email me your query and I will put on my thinking cap and publish your question, along with my answer. 


  1. I totally knocked myself out with the first bday, too. Now, I only over-achieve on the cake.

    Oh, and you can get napkins, plates and such that match the color theme for way cheaper than the officially licensed matchy-matchy ones.

  2. I'm glad we kept it simple for the first birthday. The girl hated having everyone sing to her, refused to touch her smash cake, even with a fork. And she couldn't have cared less about who was there or the decorations. Simple is best, spend the $$$ on the gifts and booze!

  3. My Goddaughter went ape-shit crazy for her daughter's first birthday. It was a Princess theme and I'm sure she must have spent $5000. There was a decorated Cinderella carriage, a 4 layer castle cake, and . . . The baby was pretty stressed out by the whole thing but the 100 guests enjoyed the jumpy house, face painting, and lots of great food. Granted, the family is huge and any party has between 60 - ? people. But my GD almost had a breakdown trying to get it all organized. Oh, yeah, the baby's birthday is the Dec. 30. The pictures are cute but I hope she does not work herself to death for the 2nd birthday. The kid would have been happy with a cake to smash her fist into and a few empty boxes to play with. The saddest part was that my GD didn't really get to enjoy her daughter's party, too many details.

  4. So, you're saying that there IS a difference between a pirate princess and a pirate hooker?

    That sucks- I already got all kinds of pirate hooker stuff for my 4 year-old's birthday party and now you've got me wondering if I accidentally bought pirate princess stuff instead.


  5. Hi...I just ran across your blog and what a coincidence...I like BEER and (other people's) BABIES too! Oh sure, I have kids but thankfully we are getting out the baby phase. And I am so thankful for that.

    Love the title and love the blog!

    1. Welcome, Erin! I guess I am getting close to out of babies too, but I love beer and toddlers is a bit too Toddlers and Tiaras for me. Ha!

  6. my LO turns one this month, we decided to take the day off work and go to the aquarium. our families are less than thrilled. but he doesn't know/care and won't remember. We'll do it up when he asks for a party


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