Image Map

Thursday, October 25, 2012

And Then I Knew

The other day, I visited my friend to meet her beautiful new baby girl. I got to hold a sweet and cuddly 5-week-old, then give her back when she crapped her pants and had needs. It was wonderful. It was also the signal that I am 100% done birthing babies.

I held that sweet little bundle of goo and didn't turn into one myself. I enjoyed the opportunity to hold a baby, but didn't yearn to do it again with my own. My ovaries didn't sing, "Maybe just one more, for old time's sake?" My uterus didn't beg for one last chance at bat. My body just said, "Cute baby, glad it is yours and not mine."

I will miss this

And I knew. I knew I was done with this phase of my life. Done with the bottles and the sleepless nights and the baby vomit. But also done watching Project Runway while a baby calmly sleeps on my chest.

Babies are sweet and wonderful and the miracle of life, but they are for me no more. I will relish the chances to hold my friends' babies as they come, but will no longer want for another one of my own. It was a great feeling. Knowing that we are complete as a family and being at ease with it.

Now accepting all applications to babysit your babies to help me get my fix/keep me strong in my convictions to close up my lady parts for good.

If you share this post, I will buy you a pony. I suck at Twitter. I am OK at Facebook. Pinterest is my bitch. I am also on Bloglovin' and Instagram.

12 comments:

  1. PLEASE BABYSIT MY KIDS.

    It happened immediately after I gave birth, both times. Held the freshly birthed bundle of mucus in my arms and knew in those moments that I would be doing it again. There's a third somewhere down the road, I know it. Something's missing. It's like when you're on a road trip and you know, eventually, you are going to see a McDonald's.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In the hospital, with TQC, I was already talking about our second. I just knew we would. Now I just know we won't.

      And my god McD's is like an oasis in the desert on a roadtrip. That and Wendy's. Mmmmm...spicy chicken sandwich.

      Delete
  2. I've already got hubbs on board for a 3rd... all it took was him snuggling the neighbors newborn....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good for you! I think if I was younger, richer and had more sanity, I would think about a third. But I am none of those things. Ha!

      Delete
  3. I was in the hospital having my 3rd and already thinking about how it'd work to have the 4th. I'm pre-registered at a mental institution, but I just feel that our family isn't complete yet.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You know, there's always a chance of the IUD failing...

    YOU KNOW IT.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My daughter is 14 months, and we are struggling about adopting another one. We are well into our 40's, but we want our girl to have a sibling. I am not sure if we are just being selfish or simply wanting another child to ensure she has family around while she is still young, and we are early birding down in Florida.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Survey says: she will end up just fine either way with parents who worry about her well being as much as you!

      Delete
  6. I always knew I wanted at least 3. #1 was a surprise, but she was so wonderful that we started trying for #2 when she was 9 months. Both pregnancies were easy, but after the little guy was born, I knew I needed a break before another. He'll be 4 in March and we're finally having #3 in January. And HOLY SHIT DOES THIS SUCK. I've had a number of miscarriages between the last one and this one, so don't think I'm not grateful, and I know how lucky I am to be having this one, but it's NO FUN. This one is kicking my ass. So unless there's some magical change in my life, I know I'm done now. I will celebrate this discovery with shots in about 3 months.

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing from you. It reinforces that writing this blog is not just a silly waste of my brain matter. If you leave a douche canoe comment, I will delete it. I am powerful like that.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...