Thou shalt honor no other mommies before thine self (even Gwyneth has her issues).
Thou shalt only give in to wine. Never give in to the whine.
Thou shalt not beat thine self up over mommy meltdowns (we all lose our shit every now and then).
Thou shalt not worry about stretch marks and baby weight.
Thou shalt consider Goldfish a nutritional food group (they are both dairy and a starch, after all).
Thou shalt alloweth thine self a Mommy Mulligan when needed.
Thou shalt alloweth thine self a time out when needed (even God took a day to rest).
Thou shalt use the answer "Because I said so" at will, especially after the 13th utterance of the word "why".
Thou shall covet one of the Ryans (Gosling, Reynolds, Phillippe, you choose).
Thou shalt remember that you are the best (and only) damned mommy your kids got.