Wednesday, January 9, 2013

How to Tame a Target Addiction

My hubby and I are undergoing the Total Money Makeover. While reading the book, I realized that my biggest enemy is that sexy bitch that looks so good in red: The Target.

I think there are a few ways that The Target can help me overcome my addiction:

Electrify the Shopping Carts
If the carts shock the crap out of me every time I touch them, I am less likely to sail one of those plastic bitches around the store filling it with unnecessary crap.

Close Down the Dollar Aisle
Because everything in that damned aisle is cute. And now that they have me hooked, Target has sprinkled in some even cuter shit and charges $3.50 for it. Crafty, Target. Crafty.

Switch Clothing Buyers with Walmart
I wouldn't touch Walmart's "Fashion Tops" with a 10-foot pole, while Target is offering Marc Jacobs, Carolina Herrera and Oscar de la Renta. Stop. Just stop.

Close Down the Baby and Children's Section
The Children's section it is like my Bermuda Triangle: even though it wasn't where I was heading, I always end up there and can't escape--unless I add at least $50 worth of clothing, toys and hair accessories to my cart. Crap.

Stop Selling Booze
Because, seriously, like I need more temptation in that department. I need to be able to pick up a T-box with my diapers and maxi pads about as much as I need to birth me another baby.

Punch Me in the Face Every Time I Walk in
Because, really, there is nothing else that will deter me from crossing The Target's sweet, sweet threshold to give them my entire paycheck for a bunch of crap I don't need--or want. Stupid sexy Target.

25 comments:

  1. Oh yes. THIS. And it doesn't help that target just announced that they will ad-match (amazon, walmart, etc) year-round. More money the red bullseye sucks up!

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    Replies
    1. WHAT? I didn't hear that. Good to know. How do you ad-match Amazon?

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  2. I have started shopping for groceries there. BAD IDEA! I NEVER just get groceries....

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    Replies
    1. I had to stop doing that. Off to Costco I go. My kids eat enough fruit each week to choke and elephant.

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    2. And with all that fruit, the bulk toilet paper doesn't hurt either, does it? ;) Sorry... poop jokes are all I have these days....

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    3. and they are all you need. did you not see my boob joke on facebook. ha.

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  3. These are all terriic suggestions that Target should seriously be considering.

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  4. Do you do the Target Challenge? It's trying to get out of there for less than $100. I fail every time.

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    Replies
    1. With the Money Makeover, I get out of there for under $50 most times now. If I don't HAVE to have it, I dump it before the register now. I even decided I didn't HAVE to have foil, because I had made it without it for so long...

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    2. My only succesful strategy is avoidance. I try to not go there if not absolutely necessary. The problem there is the baby: i feel like we're always out of diapers/wipes/formula. Poor planning on my part!

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    3. How is it that you are never NOT out of at least one of those things?

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  5. HOLD. ON. JUST. A. SECOND.
    Your Target sells BOOZE??? Like a whole liquor store type of selection???
    I literally live in the WOMB OF TARGET (Minneapolis) and we only have like 2 brands of wine coolers in our Targets!!! UNfair.

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    Replies
    1. Yep, a whole aisle and a cooler section. But only some here do. My main Target doesn't.

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  6. Christmas time was the worst. The weekend before Christmas I was in there 4 times. Within 3 days. Yes, that means that on the Saturday before Christmas I actually went there TWICE in one day.

    And seriously, could their kids' stuff be cuter? I don't even HAVE kids and I can't escape without buying something for my honorary niece. Read that, *honorary* niece. Singular, not even blood-related, niece. The only child I have to buy stuff for gets something every damn time I go to Target.

    And their home interiors stuff is even worse. I actually had to ban myself from going to Target a couple of months after I moved into my new apartment because I would come home with something for my apartment every time.

    Eff you Target!

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    Replies
    1. I so get it. I basically have to put blinders on when I need things from there. I may just have to start getting the stuff I usually get there somewhere else to keep me from impulse buys.

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  7. The liquor and kids department get me every damn time! I even promised unless my son needs it only sale and next size up (cuz he doesn't need) clothes go in my cart. I still spend an extra 20 on clothes that won't fit for 6mon to 2yrs!

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    Replies
    1. yep. i did too. now i dont even go near there.

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  8. Ha ha. I was just bitching about this today because I walked in with $27 in gift cards and STILL ended up spending $50!!! I hate Target.

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  9. Target is my crack! :)

    I'm so bad that I justify the 5% off and free shipping that I was getting with my Target credit card as an excuse to shop there. I finally had to put my foot down....and got a Target debit card instead. Baby steps!

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    Replies
    1. Love my Target debit. And it is SO my crack.

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  10. Is it bad that my daughter already knows Target just by driving by the bullseye and shouts out Mama mama we no go home first we go Target....Target Mama TARGET! (BTW shes barely two.....I think I have created a monster :0) )

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I love hearing from you. It reinforces that writing this blog is not just a silly waste of my brain matter. If you leave a douche canoe comment, I will delete it. I am powerful like that.

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