I have been known to have gas that can clear a room. In college, I farted in the car and my roommate had to hang her head out of the window while dry-heaving. When I found out I was pregnant the first time, we were on a cabin trip with friends. My gas was so bad that they actually exiled me to the outdoors and wouldn't allowed to eat with them. Is it wrong that I am proud of these events?
The Confessional is now open. Have something you need to repent for? Feel free to send me your sin and I will help your purge your demons.
Sins from fellow Boozehounds:
Every year the mortgage company sends us our overage check from the
escrow account, and I deposit it in my account without telling my
husband. I don't think he even knows there IS an overage, even though
the property taxes continue to fall.
ILBAB says: I have done the same thing. Any year that I don't get a secret check full of free money, I am very disappointed.
My three week old son is not circumcised, which might later set him apart
from his buddies, but...his penis is HUGE. And I am secretly thrilled.
Call me shallow and whack, but it seems that if you have a big penis, all other
flaws can be overlooked. Is that kinda like being blond? Or having
big boobs? If so, my kid has it made.
ILBAB says: Big penis on a little peanut. Very funny.
When I was in 8th grade (nearly 25 years ago), I broke both my arms at
the same time while babysitting. To this day, my mother and the kid's
mother still believe that I broke my arms by tripping over a coffee
table. Truth is, the kid and I pushed all the furniture together and
were jumping from piece to piece. I landed off balance on the coffee
table, and it slipped out from under me and landed on top of me. Bottom
line: Don't trust me with children! (I'm a mom of two.)
ILBAB says: Bottom line: you sound like a kick-ass babysitter! What are you doing on Saturday?