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Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The Confessional

Confession from fellow Boozehounds

I was heading home from a 4 hour trip out of town with my 7 yr old, 7 month old, dog and cat...  I had already suffered a flat tire which resulted in me having to unload EVERYTHING to get to the tire (100 degree weather) and it took a solid hour to get back on the road. My 7 year old decided between towns to inform me he was STARVING and I promised him at the next town I would get him McDonalds (a real treat for him). As we came into the town I thought had one, it turned out it didn't. My son went on and on about me promising it and saying "you said" like 15 times. I tried and tried to lovingly explain I was wrong then I snapped...  I turned to my poor son and said, "Well, here's a news flashing for you... I don't f$&@ing know everything." I felt better. He sat stunned :)

ILBAB says: He was probably more stunned at the fact that you don't know everything if you were able to survive the rugged conditions of fours hours in a car with two kids and two animals. Fuck McDonalds. That shit is intense.

When I was five, I poked my babysitter in the boobs with my index finger and said "Ding Dong! Avon calling..."

ILBAB says: Ding Dong! Child protective services calling. Ha!

The Confessional is now open. Have something you need to repent for? Feel free to send me your sin and I will help your purge your demons.

1 comment:

  1. that first one had me dying. really. i'm writing this comment from the fiery pits of hell. love this column!!


I love hearing from you. It reinforces that writing this blog is not just a silly waste of my brain matter. If you leave a douche canoe comment, I will delete it. I am powerful like that.

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