Image Map

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Tainted Love

The Cool Cucumber has a new friend. He REALLY loves his new friend. We call his new friend Humpy Bear. Humpy Bear is a bear The Quiet Contemplator was given when The Cucumber arrived. She dons a pink t-shirt that reads, "I'm the big sister."

Humpy Bear has been violated. A lot. Though The Cucumber can not even Army crawl yet, if you put Humpy Bear across the room, he will get to her in two seconds flat. Then proceed to pin her down and suck on her face.

Help me!

I was trying to get The Cucumber to crawl to me the other day and he just looked at me with feigned interest and stayed planted. Then, ADD Daddy put Humpy Bear in front of me and The Cucumber raced to me like I was on fire. Once he got to me, he crawled on top of Humpy Bear and forgot that I existed.

So, to sum it up, in a mere six months, I have been replaced by a stuffed animal that is constantly wet and smells of vomit. Nice.

6 comments:

  1. Cannot. Stop. Laughing. I'm in a training with a bunch of English teachers, all proper and the like, and I will be causing a ruckus trying to keep the residual laughter down. I don't think they will appreciate Humpy Bear the way I do.
    Both my kids finger their teddies. We made need to start a support group for traumatized lovies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who doesn't appreciate an infant molesting a stuffed animal? Nazis!

      Delete
  2. My son just started army crawling/lunging yesterday. he cant seem to get his arms to work so he just kind of leaps after things. Entertaining to watch. I just give him a ball and let him hurl himself across the living room all day.

    ReplyDelete
  3. First of all, meet your newest blog stalker. I don't remember how I found you, but damn I'm glad I did! Been spending the past hour scrolling through your blog and laughing so hard my husband thinks I'm a crazy person.

    I'm a new mom (the wiggler turned a month old today) and am so grateful for women like you who a) don't give a shit what people think and b) actually are honest about being a mom.

    Thanks for making me literally laugh out loud. Can't wait for my little boy to be even more awesome than he is now.

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing from you. It reinforces that writing this blog is not just a silly waste of my brain matter. If you leave a douche canoe comment, I will delete it. I am powerful like that.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...