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Wednesday, July 11, 2012

The Hunger Games

Dinner time at our house generally makes me want to stab myself in the thigh with a rusty fork. One day, The Quiet Contemplator LOVES fish sticks. The next, she acts like I filleted our cat and served it up to her on a plate made of bat wings when I offer her fish sticks. What gives? Is it just me or is my toddler bi-polar when it comes to eating?

I try to feed The Contemplator a balanced diet of fruit, veggies, grains, dairy and meat--mixed with a healthy dose of cookies and goldfish crackers, of course. The thing that kills me is I have no idea when sitting down to dinner if the plate I have prepared for her will result in her asking for seconds and thirds or her crying, "I don't like this! This is yucky!". It is like setting myself up every night for a terrifying game of culinary roulette and it drives me insane in the membrane.



I have tried all the tactics, hell I even tried to help one of you with your own cuisine crimes. It doesn't help. She is a toddler and most toddlers have an undiagnosed eating disorder called toddlerexialemia. One day they won't touch food, the next day they binge like they haven't seen food for a year.

I am going to start a support group for the parents of toddlers where we all get together and gorge on cupcakes while complaining about how our toddlers eat. Food allergy mammas are welcome, too. I am going to call it Asshole Eaters Anonymous. Feel free to join. We meet every third Thursday at the American Legion. Bring wine.

16 comments:

  1. haha, i think toddlers are physically adorable because otherwise we would throw them out. i always feel like a bad mom when i say that i hate toddlerhood but it's so true. they're f'ing crazy bipolar little people who have no idea what they want and i'm a fool because i always think i should be a "loving" mom and try to figure it out.

    krissyj0606.blogspot.com

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  2. If it something you know that have eaten before without an issue, save it for them. When they get hungry they will eat it. lol.

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  3. The worst part is when they don't eat their dinner, and you think they'll learn their lesson when they go to bed hungry... No, they just teach YOU a lesson by waking up starving at 5 the next morning.

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  4. I'm totally in. What are you doing in, say, an hour? ; ) BTW, no resolve in our culinary battles. : ( Now pass the wine.

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    Replies
    1. Meet me at the bar and we will drink and cry. I will bring the Goldfish.

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    2. LOL, I wish. Stuck in small-town Iowa indefinitely though. Blech.

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    3. Girl, post on one of your blogs already!

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    4. OMG, I didn't realize anyone was reading it. . : D

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    5. For you, my love:

      http://sarasobservatory.blogspot.com/

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  5. Right now my daughter eats pretty much whatever I give her (she's 10 months old). It's my husband I have issues with. I swear he could eat baked chicken, mashed potatoes, and/or fast food for every meal.

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    Replies
    1. My husband is the same. Meat, potatoes, cheese. I call my husband manorexic

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  6. So funny, and brings back memories. Warning: food habits change very little in the next 20 years. My daughter will come home, and I'll say, "Dad's grilling pork chops for you." And she's like, "I hate pork." Me: when did you stop liking pork. Her: Oh, I don't know. I just don't, except for bacon. I'll eat bacon.

    I don't know what it will be next time. Lately it's cheese. She suddenly doesn't like cheese. Our family has eaten cheeses of every kind, and she suddenly doesn't like cheese.

    Be forewarned...

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    Replies
    1. No, Anna. NOOOOOO! I can't take it much longer!

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