You are the mother fucking shit. I bow down to the greatness that is you. What you mamas do on a daily basis is amazing and deserves some sort of congressional medal of honor. I have just spent five days as the sole caretaker of my youngins and it made me want to buy you a beer, or a puppy, or a midget, or whatever would make you the most happy. You deserve it. And then some. And then some more after that. You are goddesses.
After five long days trapped in the house alone with my two kids, I was about ready to commit harakiri. I hadn't showered properly in days because every time I tried, one of the nuggets would need me. I hadn't eaten a full meal because whenever it is my turn to eat, the excellent game of "What are you eating, mama? Can I have some?" started. I hadn't taken a descent poop in five days because god forbid mommy EVER be alone in the bathroom.
I was covered in the urine of two different children at two different times. I had an hour where they both cried simultaneously for seemingly no reason. They fought. They trashed the house. They basically went ape shit. And I was left standing in the rubble, ready to cry every night after bedtime. It was a disaster. I lost my temper, along with my mind, halfway through the third day. I felt like a turd of a mom. It is probably a good thing that we can't afford for me to stay at home, because I would end up in the loony bin. It would only take about a week.
|Me after ADD Daddy returned home|
I also thought about the mommies that were out there going this whole parenthood road alone and there are just. no. fucking. words. for how awesome you ladies are. I mean, really. Wow.
And don't even get me started about the puppy dogs and rainbows that are military mamas. Many of you are, in essence, both SAH AND single moms. And you can't even break off a piece of action on the side because your baby daddy is off fighting for our freedom. DAMN! You get a midget AND a puppy.
I think the world often casts a negative light upon single, SAH and military mamas and for that, I want to punch the world in the vagina. Because you are doing a job that is a million times harder than any job on the planet. Obama, Bill Gates and the entire cast of The Deadliest Catch have nothing on you ladies. You are rockstars. And I love you. Rock on, mamas. Rock on.