Image Map

Friday, March 16, 2012

While I was out.

I thought I would give you a wrap-up of what went down while I was on maternity leave. Enjoy.
  • I changed 876 diapers (seriously)
  • I washed, filled and fed 588 bottles (seriously)
  • I was vomited on 588 times after feeding The Cool Cucumber 588 bottles
  • I was peed on
  • I was pooped on
  • I cried countless times out of frustration
  • I drank 10 cases of Trader Joe's wine to medicate said frustration
  • I ruined two laptops
  • I cut off a foot of my hair
  • I watched seven seasons of Project Runway
  • I watched two seasons of True Blood
  • I enjoyed many mommy playdates with a new friend and her baby
  • I got a handsome little boy through the first three month of his life and didn't break him
Overall, even though a lot of it was hard, I relaxed with my new man and enjoyed the shit out of myself.


  1. aww i wondered where you had gone off to, i loved your updates :) I still havent been peed or pooed on but my husband gets it like every time hahaha so funny

  2. Getting through the first few months is HARD, no matter what way you slice and dice your time. Congrats on making it ... and bottoms up!

  3. I am going through some of the same things Momma! Happy to hear from you again :) I gotta try that wine! Lol

  4. "I cried countless times out of frustration."

    I wish more mommies would confess to this! I felt like such a loser those first three months because it felt like I cried just as much as the baby!


I love hearing from you. It reinforces that writing this blog is not just a silly waste of my brain matter. If you leave a douche canoe comment, I will delete it. I am powerful like that.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...