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Friday, September 2, 2011

Preggo my Eggo Update: 23 weeks down, 17 to go.

Dear Dove,

Though I sincerely appreciate your attempt to make me feel validated while stuffing my face full of your chocolate goodness, I do not need for you to hide inspirational messages in my empty candy wrappers. I don't need to contemplate the meaning of "Discover yourself." when I am scarfing down my 3rd chocolate treat. You don't need to tell me to "Be free. Be happy. Be you." when I finish the 15th. I have "discovered" that "being me" involves inhaling a significant amount of your product. Let's just leave it at that.

I have a few suggestions for your future wrappers. Take 'em or leave 'em, just make sure to send me a check when this awesomeness hits stores.

  • This is why you're fat.
  • Do you really need another one?
  • A minute on the lips, a lifetime on your a$$.
  • Got cellulite?
  • God is watching you.
  • You're pregnant.
  • I know where Waldo is.
  • Look behind you.
  • They're watching.
  • Now contains 99% more cat.
  • Sure, one is only 40 calories, but you have had 13.
  • See, size does matter.
  • Nom Nom Nom

He's getting bigger by the minute...


  1. No no no no nonono. Scary messages are funny on bananas, but not on candy. I need my candy to be nice to me! Or, you know, indifferent.

  2. You are such a cute pregnant lady! I seem to get pregnant all over and weigh 200lbs by the time I have the baby!

  3. HAH! My thoughts on Dove chocolates...and I'm not pregnant. =)

  4. I just found your blog through RFML and Giiiiirrrllll....I am so glad I did! You are for sure my new favorite blog to read! :o)

  5. Dove has a little marketing genius with the wrappers - who doesn't read them?! I agree, they should be humorous. But not stalkery. I have enough anxiety, thus the chocolate! :)


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