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Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Bucket Blackmail


My daughter has been reading a book at school that is full of awesome. It teaches her about feelings and shit and how her actions can affect other people.

The book's premise is that everyone on earth has an imaginary bucket. You can add to a person's bucket by saying or doing nice things. But if you say or do mean things, you take from someone's bucket. You, my meanie friend, are a "Bucket Dipper".

The book is called:

Have You Filled a Bucket Today? A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids

But it should be called:

Have You Filled a Bucket Today? A Guide to Blackmail for Kids

At first, the book made life in our house all puppy dogs and rainbows. The Quiet Contemplator was really sweet and would do and say nice things all the time for no reason. If you did something nice for her, she would say, "That makes me so happy. You fill up my bucket."

Now, however, The Contemplator has figured out how to use her bucket for blackmail. The other night she asked me if she could have another cookie and I said "no". She looked at me like I had kicked her puppy and said, "Mommy, that makes me sad. You aren't filling up my bucket!"

Then the other morning, when she wanted to watch a movie before school but knew I needed the TV to do The Shred, she said, "Mommy, it would really fill up my bucket if you let me watch Shrek right now."

Bucket blackmail is for the birds. The overall good the bucket theory provides is amazeballs, but having a kid smart enough to turn the concept around on us so we have to do her bidding is a bitch.

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