So here it is: I have been depressed lately. Really depressed. But more importantly, I have finally decided to help myself climb out of the black hole that I have been living in for the last few months.
When you are depressed, it is damned near impossible to get the help you need. The mere thought of all of the hoops you will have to jump through to get better is overwhelming. Drs, pharmacists, money, time, pride, etc. There are so many obstacles that stand between barely-surviving you and actually-living you that the thought of the work it will take to get better often makes it worse.
Depression is a silent suffering. A person doesn't need to look like a train wreck to be depressed.
Because this it the face of depression:
And even this:
I was cripplingly depressed in all of these pictures. I may have looked happy and fun on the outside, but on the inside, I was silently dying. And that is the ugly truth of depression. It doesn't come with an identifying rash or a scarlet letter "D". It just comes, and takes over, and smothers the life out of the person it has overtaken. Slowly at first. Then more and more rapidly and aggressively as it wears on.
I am on the path to getting better. Therapy has been great, but it has not been enough to pull me out of the dark depths of depression this time. So I am going back on anti-depressants. So I can be me again.
That's my story. What's yours?