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Tuesday, September 4, 2012

The Confessional

Confessions from a fellow Boozehound

While feeding my daughter the other day, she stuck her hand in the bowl of sweet potatoes. Rather than walk across the room to get a napkin (and give her the time to rub the potatoes in her
hair), I simply stuck her hand in my mouth and licked off the sweet potatoes myself.

ILBAB says: This sounds like a two-fold win. First, you averted the dreaded task of having to bathe a baby. Second, you provided your body with some complex carbohydrates. Carbo-loading while time-saving? You are a genius, my friend.

While at a party in college, I drunkenly dropped my pack of cigarettes into the toilet I had just peed in. I fished them out pretty quickly, but they were still a little soggy when I lit one up later. Rather than haul my inebriated self off the sofa where I was lounging to throw them away, I just tossed the pack a few feet away from me. A couple minutes later, this guy that I had been flirting with walked up, found the cigarettes, exclaimed over his good fortune, and lit one up. I politely declined when he offered me one and decided that I would NOT kiss him that night after all

ILBAB says: Having the wherewithal to not make out with a hot guy because he smoked your pee-soaked cigarettes proves you are one classy lady. I can not say that I would have had the same better judgement back in my college days. I put the "ass" in classy.

The Confessional is now open. Have something you need to repent for? Feel free to send me your sin and I will help your purge your demons. 


  1. I still lick my 3yo's hands on occasion. I mean, I TRY to get him to do it himself first, but sometimes he misses a spot...

  2. Whoops, I didn't think that first one was that bad at all. The other day I did the same thing to my nephew when he put his hand in BBQ sauce. I knew his mom (my sister), who was carrying him, doesn't eat BBQ sauce. Seemed like the most efficient solution to the problem.


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