No, this post isn't a cry that I am fat. I am more mommy to love because I drink too much and love chocolate cake, like any good chubby girl does. The reason I should be thinner is that The Cool Cucumber doesn't like for me to put sustenance in my body. Ever.
Since the day he was born, he has had some sort of sixth sense about when I am about to eat something and proceeds to wail the second the fork makes its way to my mouth. He somehow senses that I might be about to provide myself with life-sustaining nourishment and needs me RIGHT THIS SECOND.
When I am about to take my first bite of any food, he bellows in my direction as if to say, "Put that fork down, devil woman. Come play heed to my endless needs. Your nutritional intake will forever take a backseat to my need for you to fetch me shiny things."
Now that the miraculous invention that is puffs has entered our household, mama is finally able to get a bite in edgewise. I love you, nutritionally unsound, outrageously expensive and ridiculously small contents-bearing container of puffs. You have saved my sanity, though not done wonders for my ass. Maybe I should go back to the starvation diet after all...