I know this is going to be very hard to
understand, since your brains are now currently the size of a lime and
orange, but let's give it a try, shall we.
Though it may seem so,
mommy was not put on this planet simply to feed, entertain, clothe,
bathe, rock, wipe the ass of, clear out the boogers of, clean up after
and all around cater to the likes of you.
Before you two were
painfully summoned from my loins, mommy actually had a mind of her own
and a spare minute to do frivolous things like use the bathroom alone
and eat a complete meal that did not consist of anything with the words
"mac" or "nugget" in them. I was able to do silly things like go to Target
without having every item in my cart being followed by a 20-minute
Spanish inquisition consisting solely of the question, "Why."
enough, before the two of you were born, I was even able to leave the
house without having to change my outfit six times because it has
acquired a certain amount of vomit, yogurt or bodily fluids. Thanks for
sharing, BTW. Back in BC (before children), I changed my outfit six
times just to see which one my ass looked best in. Now, it is just a
prophecy that my ass will never look good in anything again, well, besides a
Lazy-boy and a pair of sweatpants.
Anyway, thank you for not even
pretending to listen and instead asking me if you can have another
cereal bar, watch Elmo, go outside, have some milk, have some water,
have a yogurt, watch Yo Gabba Gabba and then repeating from the
beginning. Your time is much appreciated.