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Friday, December 23, 2011

Preggo my Eggo Update: 39 weeks down, 1 to go.

The end of a pregnancy must be the only time in the world where you find symptoms like extreme back pain and horrible cramps a good thing. I actually said to my husband the other day, "I had really bad diarrhea this morning and my face is super bloated so that is exciting." At this point, any signs that labor is coming are embraced, no matter how painful or disgusting they are. I would give anything to be standing in the booze aisle in Target and have my water break. I would just take it as a sign that baby really wants mama to have a drink. Please, Baby. PLEASE!

And if another person says to me, "Oh, you have totally dropped" I am going to karate chop them in the gizzard. I have not dropped. It is my second pregnancy and you don't usually drop in second pregnancies. Why? I am not sure but I think it is because God is a masochist who wants you to suffer as long as possible until D-day for having sinned and had sex again. My Sponsor is still lodged in my throat. Just where he likes it.

Yep. Still pregnant.

5 comments:

  1. If your water dropped in the booze aisle in Target, my guess is BABY NEEDS A DRINK. Babies haven't learned to be selfless at this age. =)

    Hope things move quickly and safely in you (hopefully) last week of pregnancy!

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  2. I'm 18 weeks along in my first pregnancy and your blog has equally encouraged and scared the hell out of me... but always in a humorous fashion. Get to that booze aisle!

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  3. You look AMAZING. I'm a longtime lurker and I hatelove how friggin' cute you are. You're one of the few who dresses really well thru the maternity clothes phase. Around my 4th and 5th month, when I can start the maternity clothes, I accessorize and style my hair and stuff. by the end of month 7, it's whatever is clean and kinda matches, with hair in a ponytail and maaaaaybe washed. Good luck, I hope you go into labor as I type this. I'm 35 wks and done...DONE!

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  4. Thanks, Erica. Though my style comes out of true sloth. Dresses are the closest things to pajamas I can wear in public. Ha.

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  5. Your Target has booze? Lucky!!

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I love hearing from you. It reinforces that writing this blog is not just a silly waste of my brain matter. If you leave a douche canoe comment, I will delete it. I am powerful like that.

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