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Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Toddler-to-teenager Contract

My kids love the shit out of me right now. They think I am They think I am the smartest, prettiest, funniest person they have ever met. I am their hero, their provider, and their earth, sun and moon at the moment. But I know that someday that will change.

Hormones, peer pressure and life will soon cloud their vision of their mommy. There will be times when they hate me for my mere existence. And it is not their fault. Or mine. But I know it will happen, no matter how good of a mom I am.

So I decided to do something about it. Now. I made them sign a contract to like me and acknowledge my existence even when they become overly-hormonal jerks. And I am going to lock it in the safe and pull it out whenever they start acting like assholes just because they're teenagers. Because what kind of mother would I be if I didn't manipulate my toddlers into signing a legally binding contract to love me? Wait...don't answer that.

If you click on The Quiet Contemplator's contract, you can download your own for your kiddos to fill out. Be sure to let me know if you forced had your little pumpkins put pen to paper to protect your future relationship.

If you share this post, I will buy you a pony. I suck at Twitter. I am OK at Facebook. Pinterest is my bitch. I am also on Bloglovin' and Instagram.

1 comment:

I love hearing from you. It reinforces that writing this blog is not just a silly waste of my brain matter. If you leave a douche canoe comment, I will delete it. I am powerful like that.

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