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Thursday, April 4, 2013

Trusting Your Inner Mommy Instincts

I have learned lately to never ignore my inner-mommy instincts. The one that sometimes makes you feel like what you are thinking is crazy, but is no less right. The one that told me that my son had acid reflux and was lactose intolerant, even when Drs told me they didn't think that he was. He does and he is.

As moms, we are often worried that if we voice what we are truly feeling, we will just look crazy. Well I don't know about you, but I would rather voice the crazy and be wrong than not voice it and be right. I often feel like if I ask certain questions or bring up things I have found on the internets, that my Dr will just think I am nuts and tell me to stay away from Dr. Google. But what I have really found, is that I am not crazy. I am a mom. And I have a very strong mommy instinct. Ones that I should never ignore.

When my pediatrician sent me to an Ear Nose and Throat specialist to get my son looked at for tubes and adenoid removal, I thought nothing of it. Then, while at the appointment, where the very well qualified and highly recommended ENT recommended both procedures be done, something felt wrong about having the adenoids removed. And I mean REALLY wrong.

Adenoid removal is no big deal so why was I so worried? I don't know, but I just knew it was the wrong thing. No question. I have never felt something so strongly in my life. It was like I was being told by something bigger than me what to do. Or, moreover, what NOT to do. Don't worry, this isn't my "come to Jesus moment". This is more like my "come to mommy" moment.

So I called the best hospital in my area and got a second opinion. And I was right. Something told me that between my son's breathing issues and allergies, he wasn't going to make it through the general anesthesia required for adenoid removal. And you know what, even just under the gas that was used to insert the tubes, he faced real problems. His breathing was dangerously low and his heart rate dangerously high. And right then I knew: if I would have gone ahead with the other surgery, he would have died. Tomorrow, in fact.

Dramatic? Yes. But I can tell you with every fiber of my being that it is true. That if I hadn't listened to that niggling little voice in the back of my barely functioning mommy brain, my son would be breathing his last breath at 9:30 a.m. tomorrow morning. That if I would have listened to everyone who told me that it is "no big deal" and that I was just "overreacting" that I would have lost my son. Forever.

Our children can't advocate for themselves. They need us to grow a pair and do it for them. They need us to ask the uncomfortable questions, seek the best Drs and all-around be their champions. They need us to stand up to those who tell us what we are thinking is wrong and push forward to find real answers. They need us to listen to our instincts and not stop until we have done everything we can. They sometimes need us to seek second, and third and fourth opinions until we find the root of a problem. They need us to pull them out of a daycare because something "just doesn't feel right". They need us to spend hours on the phone with our insurance companies fighting for the care they need. They need us to do all of this and more. Because they can't.

But we can. And we do. Every day. 

So be "that mom". The one who overreacts sometimes. Or worries too much. Or asks so many questions your Dr dreads seeing you. Because it is your job. And it might just save your child's life one day. I can tell you without a doubt in my mind that it saved mine.

Still here.

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