Tuesday, February 7, 2012

The Confessional

In person, I look just like Molly Shannon. People walk by me every day and yell, "SUPERSTAR!" I really hate it.

Sin from a fellow boozehound: When I was a senior in high school, I flew across the country to visit a friend who had moved to a small-ish town. Wanting to show off my ability to be a classy, big city girl, I purchased a bottle of cheap red wine with my fake ID and proceeded to drink the entire thing out of red plastic cups at her friend's party. We had eaten Vietnamese food for dinner, and  let me just say that Vietnamese food and red wine coming back up can really mess with the plumbing. My vomit clogged the toilet, and rather than fess up, I proceeded to totally deny that it was me who had puked. I mean, I walked out of the bathroom where the toilet was full of barf and claimed that someone else had done it. My friend, being the awesome best friend for life that she is, has never once mentioned that it was pretty damn obvious who clogged the toilet with red wine and Vietnamese food vomit. ILBAB says: Girl, friends like that are few and far between. Hug her and buy her a car. Just don't take her out for Vietnamese...

The Confessional is now open. Have something you need to repent for? Feel free to send me your sin and I will help your purge your demons.

2 comments:

  1. My bestie knows this, but the "buy her a car" thing reminded me about the time I threw up cosmos (and one grateful dead) and pasta all in her back seat. Noodles in my hair. Her floor board. Etc. All I remember is feeling like butt the next day and her saying, "I'm so pissed." Ha. I really NEEDED to buy her a car, and bless her husband's heart, he did buy her a new car the next month.

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  2. I too have denied a vomiting spell of astronomical proportions. I love this blog, and I love this whole confessional thing. I've got several but I'm going to send one of my less appalling ones. Please don't judge me....

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I love hearing from you. It reinforces that writing this blog is not just a silly waste of my brain matter. If you leave a douche canoe comment, I will delete it. I am powerful like that.

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