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Friday, December 9, 2011

Preggo my Eggo Update: 37 weeks down, 3 to go. Get the f*ck out, freeloader.

I have been in an a**load of pain this week. I have some weird problem with the muscle near my right rib getting ripped out in pregnancy and my back right behind it feeling like it is being crushed. These two problems together make me want to punch a kitten. I had the same problems last time. I see a physical therapist but they still hurt like hell. Ugh. Boo hoo. Wah.

I got my first official, "You haven't had that baby yet?" today. Which made me think, what would these people do if I said yes? Next time I think I will reply, "Yeah, I had him last week, he is just an a**hole so I decided to come back to work right away so I don't have to be around him." It reminds me of this excerpt from after I had The Quiet Contemplator:

Stupid Sh*t People Actually Said to Me After I had a Baby

A week after I had the baby, I had to go to a friend’s art opening. I thought I looked pretty damn good for having had a baby a week earlier until three separate people came up to me and said, “Damn, when are you going to have that baby already?” To which I responded, “I had her last week.” To which they responded, “No seriously, when are you due.” Me, “No, seriously, I had her last week.” Commence hysterical tears.

Anyway. Now that I am fully cooked I am just ready to get this freeloader out of my belly and into the real world. Bring on the eggplant, sex and long walks.
3 weeks to freedom


  1. Nard-kicking for mean pregnancy comments should be consequence-free for the new mommy. Or you should be able to give the person a mean snake bite on the arm.

  2. You look so beautiful!

    I had my little one last week (c-section), and I feel like if anyone says a WORD about how I look this week (or how I walk)... they'll wear whatever I have in my hand (usually some kind of food) lol.

  3. Congrats, Kylee! Hopefully the little one and hubby are treating you well and you are enjoying alcoholic beverages again!

  4. To the benefit of all the stupid people out there ... until I had a baby of my own (at the age of 37), I also thought mamas lost their baby weight in the blink of an eye. That said, I'd never intentionally say something insensitively to someone I knew to be expecting. I keep those sorts of thoughts to myself.


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