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Friday, December 2, 2011

Preggo my Eggo Update: 36 weeks down, 4 to go.

Sorry there was no update last week. Things were hectic with Thanksgiving/getting ready for Christmas and I figured y'all were busy trimming your own trees and sh*t.

What I have found since my 34-week update is that 34.5 weeks is officially the time where I was done being f*cking pregnant. I have been coasting through an easy pregnancy this whole time and finally hit a wall. I want my body back. I want to drink alcohol. I want to get up from a sitting position without it sounding like I am giving birth. I want to tie my shoes. I want to see my vagina. Overall, I want to be me again. I think the cause for every woman feeling like this around the 9th month is to make you so willing to get the baby out, that you are no longer scared of actually having a baby. Nature is smart like that.

So what will get me through the next month? Candy Cane Joe Joe's. Oh yeah. Because I just found out they don't contain Red 40 (Don't ask. Stupid ADD daddy and his Master's thesis). I love me some Candy Cane Joe Joe's. I plan to eat about 17 boxes before delivery. Right now I am eating a giant honeybun with white icing from the vending machine. 610 calories well spent in my book.

In related news, if another person comes up to tell me how big I am getting, I might start stabbing people. I just had someone come up and say, "Wow, you are just so big." To which I replied, "Thanks. Because that is just what every girl wants to hear." I might lock myself in my office from here until delivery so I don't have to deliver this baby in prison.

Whoomp! There it is!


  1. LOL. I am RIGHT THERE with you! I'll be 35 weeks tomorrow and this week has been the biggest obstacle to overcome I swear. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING hurts. From heartburn and swollen ankles to sore ribs and back aches, it's enough to make me want to just lose it completely. **sigh** You look FABULOUS by the way, don't let anyone tell you different. I wish I looked as good as you do right now. :-)

  2. I love how nice people are!

    My sister in law (who has no kids) used to see me and say "Wow, you're huge!" Of course, by the end of my pregnancy I was SO NOT in the mood for that. I started replying with "I'm pregnant, what's your excuse?" She dropped it pretty quickly.

    Oh, and you look absolutely perfect, by the way. Big round belly? Sure - but there is a BABY in there! When I was pregnant I looked like I had babies everywhere - thighs, butt, sides, chins, etc. You've got the perfect pregnant shape. Very jealous!

  3. Jennifer and Tiffany, I swear it is all the camera. I really don't know what mystical powers it holds, but I will be taking all of my pictures for the rest of my life on it.

    Tiffany, that is exactly why I am done. everything hurts and I can't physically do anything. The upside is, at my appt yesterday, the Dr said anytime would be good from here on. Baby is big and healthy. I just want to make it until 37 weeks next Fri. Then, bring on the sex and eggplant!

  4. LOL, you crack me up. Again, I love how you say everything I am thinking! I am only 30 weeks but I am done! This is my third and final pregnancy so I am trying to enjoy it but once you get to this point, you just want your body back. Whats most annoying for me is waddling around ISU in the cold listening to my fellow classmates complain about how tired and overwhelmed they Love your posts :)

  5. Steevy, I had a similar experience. Last week someone dumped an editing project on me because they "didn't feel like it" and "didn't have the time to mess with it". Um...because I am rolling in extra time right now. Seriously? I wish I could have willed my water to break while I was talking to them.

  6. Wishing you as comfortable as you can have last few weeks. I moaned and groaned the last few weeks and ended up having my boy a week early on Christmas eve. At the time I didn't care, so long as I was DONE BEING PREGNANT. Now of course I wish we had held out one more week. Good luck with it all - can't wait to see the updates when you can manage it.

  7. Thank, Jenn. The Quiet Contemplator was born on the day after Thanksgiving, so we shall see. Poor kids and their holiday birthdays!

  8. THANK YOU for that assertion about being done alleviating the fear. The past three of my friends who have had babies were all on their firsts, so they were scared till they got sick of being pregnant. So I came up with that same theory. HOWEVER, I still do not plan to test it out. And I agree that you look lovely! But tell the uninitiated why no eggplant?


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