Why I'm Awake

• 2 am: girl goes to bathroom. Leaves hallway and bathroom lights on.
• 2:30 am: boy is lonely and climbs into bed with me.
• 2:30 - 3:30 am: boy proceeds to touch me with his feet for an hour.
• 3:30 am: cat jumps on chest and proceeds to make nest.
• 4 am: cat bores of sleep and decides to attack boy's head.
• 4:30 am: girl comes in inconsolable because she can't find her unicorn (I can't make this shit up).
• 5 am: girl returns to bathroom and leaves all lights on again.
• 5:30 am: husband begins snoring so loud he even wakes himself up.
• 6 am: oh, fuck it. I give up.

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