Wednesday, May 1, 2013

The Poop Stool

Yes, you read that title correctly. This post is about a stool. That you use while pooping.

While searching the interwebs for a way to relieve hemorrhoids (yeah, I went there), I found that going number two with your feet elevated was supposed to help. Wait, what? You want me to poop with my feet propped up? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

After I finally stopped laughing and was able to contain myself, I decided I needed to try this for myself. Anyone who has experienced this pregnancy- and childbirth-related pain in the ass knows that, short of lighting a roman candle and sticking it up your rear, you are willing to try just about anything for some relief. And, good glory hallelujah, relief it was. Not only did going with my feet elevated off the floor make going much easier, it was like being hugged while on the toilet. It definitely helped get rid of my unwanted backdoor friends. Hey, they were 'roid heads who hang out with a bunch of assholes, anyway.

Thankfully, our discovery coincided perfectly with The Quiet Contemplator starting potty training, so we just use her potty stool as our poop stool and no one is the wiser. That is, until I told the bajillionty people (12) that read this blog. Oops.

Anyhoodle, since I have absolutely no sense of shame or boundaries, I just thought I would share this piece of advice with my mommy amigas. Because, let's face it, ladies, we all know what havoc having kids can raise on the old poop shoot. Here's to a future filled with pain-free poos, mamas.

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