Saturday, October 3, 2015

Why I'm Awake


  • 2 am: girl goes to bathroom. Leaves hallway and bathroom lights on.
  • 2:30 am: boy is lonely and climbs into bed with me.
  • 2:30 - 3:30 am: boy proceeds to touch me with his feet for an hour.
  • 3:30 am: cat jumps on chest and proceeds to make nest.
  • 4 am: cat bores of sleep and decides to attack boy's head.
  • 4:30 am: girl comes in inconsolable because she can't find her unicorn (I can't make this shit up).
  • 5 am: girl returns to bathroom and leaves all lights on again.
  • 5:30 am: husband begins snoring so loud he even wakes himself up.
  • 6 am: oh, fuck it. I give up.
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