Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Advice Under the Influence: Getting a Toddler Dressed

http://www.ulive.com/video/how-to-dress-your-toddler
Welcome to another annoying episode of Advice Under the Influence. This week we will learn how to get our toddlers dressed and fight the effects of Toddler Erectile Dysfunction. Enjoy. 

Advice Under the Influence: Behind the Douche Canoe
1:05 Yeah, so that display of toddler dickery while getting dressed wasn't acting. That was the actual footage of me trying to get my daughter dressed. A-hole.
1:46 = entering sexy Dr mode. BOOYA!

2:21 This scene was shot outside in my backyard, where I introduced my New Yorker producer to what Midwest mosquitoes are like. He actually looked scared when he came inside. Hey, I warned him to douche himself in Deet before he went out there…
Anyway. I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Advice Under the Influence. If you want to ensure that I keep embarrassing myself on the internet, SHARE IT. With everyone you know. Everywhere. Facebook, Twitter, your uncle's gay porn site, your grandma's bingo newsletter. You get the idea. The more people who watch them, the more likely that the lovely people at ulive will order up another batch of my douche canoery. Thanks so much. I will send imaginary fountains full of wine, unicorns and chocolate to all who share.

Smooches,

The Beer Bitch

If you share this post, I will buy you a pony. I suck at Twitter. I am OK at Facebook. Pinterest is my bitch. I am also on Bloglovin' and Instagram.

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I love hearing from you. It reinforces that writing this blog is not just a silly waste of my brain matter. If you leave a douche canoe comment, I will delete it. I am powerful like that.