Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Confessional

My Sin:
I can not make my bed without bending halfway across the room to reach it for fear that something will grab my ankles from under the bed and try to kill me. I basically leap into bed every night so as to avoid the monsters under my bed eating me. I know this is irrational.


Sin From a Fellow Boozehound:
Motherhood: A Descent Into Madness: While breastfeeding, I thought I had figured out how long it takes the booze to purge from my system before it was okay to feed again. One night, I had pumped at like, 4 in the morning, and thinking that it was safe, stored the milk for the next feeding. Well. AFTER feeding the bottle to my son, I went to rinse it and caught a big 'ole whiff of white wine. I smelled the empty bottle, and sure enough, the booze fumes were so strong that my eyes almost watered. That son is now 3 and is not the smartest of our kids - we don't wonder why. Bad, bad mommy. (ILBAB says: A little white wine nip from the nip never hurt anyone. Thanks for sharing, mommy.)


The Confessional is now open. Have something you need to repent for? Feel free to send me your sin and I will help your purge your demons.

4 comments:

  1. OMG, I do the same thing. I live in constant fear that something is going to grab my ankles. The worst part? My cat likes to hide under my bed and jump out at me at inopportune times. Thanks to the movie, The Sixth Sense, this fear has been with me ever since. Thanks M Night! Jerk.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ahhh, it feels so good to repent! Thank you for hearing my sin and purging my demon!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Elizabeth, this actually helped make your son 5 IQ points smarter! Hallelujah!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm deathly afraid of balloons. Like, I will walk 2 miles out of my way just to avoid them. And those balloon animal people at restaurants?! I just started motioning "no" and saying my son has a latex allergy. (He does not have a latex allergy, just fyi.) We don't have balloons at parties, except mylar ones. Those are okay. They aren't unpredictable like the latex ones. Even the smell gives me the heeby jeebies. -Erin

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing from you. It reinforces that writing this blog is not just a silly waste of my brain matter. If you leave a douche canoe comment, I will delete it. I am powerful like that.